VIA ESPAÑA

WOW!!Ok Where to start? I guess first off back in London, man what a difference 6 months makes. I had forgotten how the tube works & was unable to get from Victoria to Soho without looking at a tube map in the station & looking like a complete Muppet. Then there was the culture shock/reminder that I wasn’t in a little country village (ie. Cork) so the wallet went back in the front pocket & I had to remind myself constantly, not to acknowledge every person I made eye contact with as I walked down Oxford St (Just stare through them as if they don’t exist & keep walking…unless they are 10 years old in which case move away from them before they shoot/stab you). Before the flight to Spain I had enough time to catch up with Sally & compare how her new flatmate is going compared to me, she says he’s great but I could  read between the lines that she was really saying he’s a langer! 

The flight to Ibiza was uneventful apart for the gezza in Gatwick who when I asked where the smoking area is processed to tell me to quit like he did 18 months ago blah blah blah…I asked for directions monkey boy not your self inflated & pointless rant.

Passport processing in Ibiza was quite cool with 2 plane loads of hedonists eyeing each other like it was the first day of camp or the first meal in the canteen of your university halls of residence. (She’s fit, he’s massive and they’re already monkeyed!)

Ibiza is awesome…for antipodean's it’s what the Mt, Whangamata, Foster or Byron bay  are all trying to be like…but it pulls it off, plus it has hot euro girls!

The superclubs are OK but they reinforced what I already suspected…I’m over clubs. Far too many people try too hard, you can’t talk to therefore pick up anybody, its way too hot & everything costs too much (€7 for 150ml of water…€13 for some people)….Am I getting old?

Now Bora Bora is completely different and waaaay more my cuppa tea. A club/bar ON THE BEACH! Being on the  beach also means that instead of paying up to €13 for a small bottle of water you can go to the Spar (Dairy or convenience store), buy a 1.5l bottle of San Miguel and drink it on the beach…Happy days! Also big ups to X for bringing a chili bag so we could buy more than 1 each at a time. Also this means if the music is too loud for you & you want to chat…you just move down the beach a little.

But it wasn’t all dumf dumf, alcohol & girls there’s food as well. Whoever invented paella should get a medal, but whoever invented shelled paella should be made a saint! Then there’s the perfect hangover meal.  Roll over a dodgy Aussie ‘meat pie’, 2 litres of strawberry milk, a litre of tomato juice & a tub of telly’s mussels (Note of caution; in a half awake state I had the above once in Sydney…Bart can vow to the fact that the results were not pretty) Melon & cured ham!…now that’s my kind of fruit salad!! It may sound wrong but it works. I could rant on about the seafood for as long as I could eat it, ie forever but I’ll leave it alone otherwise I’ll end up crying.

Plus for two days we hired a car to drive around the island. HELL YEAH I’ve now driven on the wrong side of the road. You first day we went to Cala Gracio, one wicked little beach with the clearest turquoise water you have ever seen. Unfortunately a group of naturists thought it was a great beach as well. “Unfortunately?” I hear you ask, well yes the girls were VERY European & there bodies had never seen a razor and one of the lads (& thankfully his clothed friend) decided to play palas deporte in front of us for 3 hours. Even Holly wasn’t impressed but Xavier was over the moon. Then we headed but to San Antonio for the sunset.  One of the best Majito’s I’ve ever had…but for €15 they should have been.

The next day we went to Cova de Can Marçá to look at the ‘World famous caves’ I started having doubts when I noticed the stalagmites & stalactites had been broken & glued back  together but the cream de la resistance was when the tour guide turned the waterfall on for us. Then onto Cala Pada to check out the Hippie fair (The Gypsy fair that tours the Coromandel in summer is better) & the best paella ever.

Sorry part 2 will be coming soon